1. True horsemen and horsewomen are comfortable working on both sides of their horse.
   Normal horse people can only saddle and get on and off on the left.
2. True horsemen and horsewomen exercise their horse's mind, knowing that their bodies will always follow.
   Normal horse people only consider the physical aspect of their horse.
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3. True horsemen and horsewomen are equine psychologists.
   Normal horse people are equine mechanics (if you don't believe it, look at all the mechanical devices hanging up in their tack room.)
4. True horsemen and horsewomen put their horse away like they were putting away their best fishing rod.
   Normal horse people put their horse away like they were throwing out the trash.
5. True horsemen and horsewomen make the right thing real easy and the wrong thing a little hard for their horse.
   Normal horse people just make the wrong thing hard.
6. True horsemen and horsewomen allow their horses to do things.
   Normal horse people let, beg and make their horse do things.
7. True horsemen and horsewomen have bigger brains.
   Normal horse people have bigger bits.
8. True Horsemen and horsewomen build a relationship with their horse built on mutual trust and respect.
   Normal horse people try to dominate their horse by fear and intimidation.
9. True horsemen and horsewomen are always firm as necessary, yet gentle as possible.
   Normal horse people become angry when they need to be firm and turn into sissies when it's time to be gentle.
10. True horsemen and horsewomen get positive responses from their horses.
    Normal horse people get frightened reactions from their horses.
11. True horsemen and horsewomen are assertive.
    Normal horse people are often aggressive.
12. True horsemen and horsewomen use ropes, whips and reins as an extension of their hand.
    Normal horse people use ropes, whips and reins as weapons to conquer their horse.
13. True horsemen and horsewomen try to understand their horse.
    Normal horse people expect their horse to understand them.
14. True horsemen and horsewomen act like partners.
    Normal horse people act like predators.

Your non-horsey friend gives you a funny look after glancing into the backseat of your car, and you realize he/she has noticed your whips and spurs.

Someone says, "Do you have a screwdriver?" and you hand them a hoofpick.

You poke your honey in the ribs, saying "Over," in the kitchen.

You run your tongue over your back molars and idly wonder if they need to be floated.

1. Eat plenty of roughage.
2. Great legs and a nice rear will get you anywhere.
3. Big brown eyes help too.
4. When you want your own way, stomp hard on the nearest foot.
5. Act dumb when faced with a task you don't wat to do.
6. Follow the herd. That way you won't get singled out to take the blame.
7. In times of crises - take a poop!
8. A swift kick in the butt will get anyone's attention.
9. Love those who love you back, especially if they give you something good to eat.
10. When in doubt, run far, far away.
11. You can never have too many treats.
12. Passing cas in public is nothing to be ashamed of.
13. New shoes are an absolute necessity every six weeks.
14. Ignore cues -- they're just a prompt to do more work.
15. Everyone loves a good, wet, slobbery kiss.
16. Never run when you can jog.
17. Never jog when you can walk.
18. Never walk when you can stand still.
19. Heaven is eating at least 10 hours a day and sleeping the rest.

• Bibliography